I’m very pro-Christmas. It’s a week until Christmas and I’m using up one of my days of annual leave sitting on a coach on my way to sing in a concert in Aberdeen because I think it’s a nice thing to share with others. I’ve been making and ordering presents since the end of October.
I was surprised to find this week, though, that my feelings about Christmas weren’t shared by my partner, and the suggestion that they might actually be a bit unusual. I’m pretty sure they’re not, as the conversation was sparked by the creation of a pretty gloomy sounding Christmas playlist. So if not shared by the majority of the population, my thoughts are at least shared by a lot of breathy girls and boys with guitars.
As much as Christmas day is definitely a time for parties and fun, I’m much happier in the days leading up to Christmas to be more quiet and reflective and even a little bit penitent. I often find myself in the darker evenings silently apologising to myself for opportunities I’ve let pass me by over the year or acknowledging that I’ve not achieved things I had set out to accomplish. I inwardly cringe remembering people I might have hurt or ignored and am amazed when I tally up how little time I’ve spent on nurturing my own and my partner’s dreams.
I know, my partner thought I might be the most miserable, over-serious twenty-something in the world too . Not to mention someone with a sickening predilection for over-sentimentality.
I don’t feel overly negative about these moments, though. It’s important to me to fully face the year I’ve had, apologise when it’s needed and make a serious resolve to make things better and try again. Some of the time, I can even look back on painful or difficult moments and identify the good that’s come out of them, or realise I couldn’t have done things any differently and let them go. Or, at least, re-file the memory in my head.
So, have a wee moment to yourself and remember to let some stuff go. Then go and listen to Slade or something and get over yourself.